Your duty is to sanctify yourself. Yes, even you. Who thinks that this task is only for priests and religious? To everyone, without exception, our Lord said: Be ye perfect, as my heavenly Father is perfect. St. Josemaria

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Our Treasures in Heaven: A book for healing and hope!

A post that I was hoping not to write again. But God's mercy and love is so bigger than my little world that knowing  that if we unite our greatest sufferings with  His, we are somewhat worthy of the true cross which might bring us  a living happiness = eternal life.

Few weeks ago, I sadly learn that our sweet baby boy did not make it pass 13 weeks yet my body once again, was not showing any signs of it. I had my 15 weeks check up and once again, my biggest fear became my reality , no heartbeat, no movement, no baby.   

I really couldn't believe that I was living this nightmare again that I had just felt that I experience with Benedicto not too long ago.  I really thought that my Easter Miracle that I had written about was a baby I was going to hold for a very long time. 

At first, I just want to get it done with and move on and have a D&C but after a day or so of reflection, and knowing that we were not going to get a body to bury here, I decided to have labor so that I can have a tiny yet very big in our hearts, baby to give what everyone unborn at least deserves if they don't make it: a burial. 

So I went in on June 20th and on June 21th deliver a perfect tiny baby boy, Juan Diego. So missed .. So wanted.. So needed!   But in God's perfect plan there is always peace when let in that plan into ours. 

Our Dear Fr.John, came to visit bringing me : Christ and also two relics, one of the true cross and one of that day's saint: St. Aloysius Gonzaga

I was able to reflex on that day's Gospel which was Matthew 6:19- 23 and what stood out for me that I knew Jesus was talking to me at that moment in time was: 

20 But store up treasures for yourselves in heaven, where neither moth nor woodworm destroys them and thieves cannot break in and steal. 21 For wherever your treasure is, there will your heart be too.

I know that I also have my sweet four treasures on earth and those four treasures in Heaven who are giving Glory to God.

As my husband and I were eating our lunch after we went to the doctors before the labor, a lady sat right behind me with these on her shirt that is and will always be my moto:
I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. 28So now I give him to the Lord.1 Samuel 1:27-28

Our children are not ours, they are God's and God's alone. He only grants us time with them, may it be seconds, months, years, but we should always give them to the LORD.

One week later, we bury our sweet son on June 28th at a St. Joseph Cemetery , right under a Magnolia tree and in front of a big statue of Sacred Heart of Jesus (which I didn't know where it was going to be). We also order some flowers to put on the grave site and sure enough, it was filled with St.Josephs' Flowers. And since Juan Diego was conceived on St. Joseph's feast day, I knew it was St.Joseph's way of letting us know, that he also was carrying Juan Diego in his arms.

I reflect that why I mourn the lost of my child, that I bury my child, that I was chosen to mourn and bury for the lost of millions and millions of children lost to abortion. God was calling for me for something greater than I ever knew I was able to do. With God, nothing is impossible.

During losing Benedicto last year, I got a hold of this wonderful book that has help me in so many ways, that I can not even describe it. after miscarriage: A Catholic Woman's Companion to Healing and Hope by Karen Edmisten.     I had given copies to moms from friends to strangers so that they can heal and have hope again.

If you would like a copy of that book or know someone who does, it is my mission to give them a copy for free. Please contact either on the comment box or email me at

Thank you for your prayers.


Roxaline said...

Ceci, I am so sorry!! I know this fear all too well. I pray for peace and comfort for you during this difficult time!

Lauren said...

I lost a little boy at 17 weeks four years ago and my heart is breaking for you and your family! The book Tears of God by Fr. Groeschel was a tremendous comfort for us. I am looking forward to purchasing the book you mentioned. Thank you for sharing. We will add you to our family rosary tonight!

Cecilia Escobedo said...

Thank you ladies for your prayers!

Nancy Ward said...

My heart grieves with you.

Erica Saint said...

Oh, my heart is breaking for you. I know the pain of miscarriage all too well. Please know that I will keep you and your family in my prayers.